Ode To A Redemption (A Poem)

FYI: I am not fluent in English, I’m trying to be at least. Sorry for the potentials mistakes. Feel free to correct me in the comment section.

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This poem was inspired by Red Dead Redemption 2

Once there was a time
we would have kill for a dime.

No past,
forget the West,
here in the East,
feel like an undesirable guest.
No laugh, just pain,
pest,
and death.

Dreams of majestic beast in the wild,
a free roaming stag.
Everybody here is out of their minds.

Get on horses, run free,
no responsibilities,
no duties.
Just you and me.

It feels like the past,
come at me too fast.

How did we end up here ?
Starting to regret a lifestyle that I’d used to love.
Opened my eyes, should have been with you.
Give each other another shot,
I don’t have much left,
how could I dare,
express myself,
after so many lives destroyed,
by my own hands.

I am ashamed,
and scared.
But I’m waiting for no heaven
‘cause on Earth, I acted like a demon.
I am ready, to join the devil.

This is too easy,
to say sorry,
to ask for forgiveness.

They’re some things you simply can not change,
no going back,
nor going further,
until the end.

I’m roting from the inside,
the mad men I am,
show itself in the outside.

I will not lie,
I had good times,
the ones with you.

You’ll see me next,
six feet under the dirt,
if I have the chance,
to end it all,
with some honor.

As I try to make peace with my God,
I know, coming from me,
this is odd,
Thousand of questions,
starting all with why.
I’ll never have the answer,
I just have to tell you my goodbyes.

Your on my mind,
you were more precious,
than every gold I’ve stolen.
I guess this is the moment,
when we’re about to leave this life,
that everything seem so simple.

Maybe I should forgive everyone,
to disappear,
but know that for you,
I would have gone
a hundred thousand miles,
just to see your eyes.

Maybe one more last kiss,
you’re all I’ve ever missed,
a relationship
gone in the mist.

What a savage I was,
running and ruining
the poisoned gift of a life. Living a lie.

Nothing makes sens,
civilisation is putting fences,
around a property,
working days and night,
weekly,
monthly,
yearly.

That wasn’t the kind of life I’ve ever wanted,
nor a life that I’ve lived.

On the run, constantly,
friends murdered,
the worries.
It took its toll,
on my mind,
on my soul.

I hope that for you, the future hold,
a respectable life,
happiness, that you don’t necessarily
find in dollar bills.

I’ve been hunting for it,
never had enough.
Was I addicted to violence ?
Sure.
You didn’t deserve that life,
no future,
a constant blur.

You’ll live the rest of your existence,
knowing I was yours once.

I hope that you’ll live fully,
proudly,
knowing that all along,
you were in my heart.

I was lucky,
to ride along with you,
even if it was on a rocky road.
Your love was priceless to me,
I was too proud,
to express it,
in front of you face.

I regret too much thing,
but now it’s times,
to go away,
to write down my last will, pay back no depts nor bills
and to spread my wings.

Jaskiers

Publicité

There’s A Killer On The Road (A Short Story)

FYI: I am not fluent in English, I’m trying to be at least. Sorry for the potentials mistakes. Feel free to correct me in the comment section.

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« – Go now, let’s go !

• What the fuck happened over there, shit !
• Come on faster !
• Yeah, but will you tell me where are Tim and Bryan for Christ’s sake ?
• Dude, it’s all turned into a shit show in there !
• Well I guess I already know that because you came back alone ! What was those gunshots that I’ve heard ? It was supposed to be a fine calculated job, no victim !
• Dude, we thought we had it all under control. Everybody knew the plan and what he had to do but that… fucking security guard decided to be a hero ! Like he was paid enough to care about a robbery !
• If you let you guard down man, they’ll take you out for sure.
• What do you fucking know about a bank a robbery ! Shut the hell up and do your job, driving !
• Well excuse me for being worried about bringing home one dude instead of three ! What happened to them !
• Faster !
• I’m at full speed ! Get out if you think you could run faster you shit ! Answer me ! Where are Tim and Bryan ?!
• Tim got shot in the right shoulder by the security guard and Bryan was instantly killed by a bystander in the bank.
• What ? And you came out of it unharmed !
• Tim was badly injured but he could still fire his gun. We exchanged a copious numbers of bullets with the cops and the civilian. We killed the officer first, the bystander emptied is Smith&Wesson on us, Bryan took a bullet in the head… He died instantly. When the civilian started to reload, we took the opportunity to shower him with bullets and that wannabe hero died. Then, time started running out so Tim was guarding the civilians, I took care of the banker who opened the safe, took the money in my duffle bag and when I’ve came back, Tim was bleeding badly. I think that he had been hit sooner during the fire exchange with ether the civilian or the guard. At first, I’ve thought it was in the shoulder but he was hit in the left lung. Had to choose between him and the money so I’ve choose him but he refused and told me to go. To secure the money you see. He told me good luck and said he would cover my exit just in case someone decided to play hero… and here I am now.
• Fuck. For real ? Men you’re full of shit ! I knew you were a coward at the second I laid eyes on you !
• Men fuck you ! I did what had to be done !
• Come on, you could have carried Tim with you !
• Dude, I was literally carrying millions of dollars in a bag ! Money is heavy but you wouldn’t know this because you are our fucking gateway driver !
• Man, I can fire a gun, be careful with what you said ! Can’t believe you left Tim to get die or… Wait… shit ! Was he the one who fired his gun just before you came running to the car ?
• Yes I’ve told you, he was covering me !
• You fucking lier ! He was trying to shoot you because you’re the one who killed Bryan ! »

Rami died on the spot, shot by Aubrey.

« – You haven’t see that one coming isn’t it ? Getaway driver my ass ! »

Throwing the body out of the car, Aubrey drove West.

Nothing was going accordant to the plan, he saw the flashing lights of law enforcement cars reflecting on his rear view mirror.

Taking his handgun, he fired at the blinding lights. He received a salve of bullets as an answer.

The car stopped going forward almost immediately.

He had a two possibility now. Run or facing the cops.

To this day, the faith of the five million dollars is still unknown. But they’re tainted in blood, sweat, tears and betrayal, like every currency in this world.

Jaskiers

People are strange (A short story)

FYI: I am not fluent in English, I’m trying to be at least. Sorry for the potentials mistakes. Feel free to correct me in the comment section.

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Letter received and diffused by The New-York Pines after the gruesome discovery of a dead body in Greenwich Village :

Greetings New-Yorkers and to the whole wide world ;

I discovered that I must be a strange fellow since my art wasn’t recognized the way I thought it would be.

This is annoying to put your heart and soul into something and seeing it end up being a disaster.

Maybe because people are strange, or maybe this is all me. I’m confused…

I’ve carefully choosed my subject and the scenery. The message that I wanted to share with the world completely falled apart. Nobody seems to have really understood my work, my art. I have put a lot of heart and effort into it. But people don’t seems to appreciate this art of mine.

It was beautifull, at least from my point of view.

Carefully hanged on an old telegraphic wire linking two building, hanging in the air and crossing a busy and scenic commercial street, there was exposed my masterpiece, for you all to see.

A torso that I, the « misunderstood artist » sculpted and carved into the most noble components. A component that no artist ever use, or very rarely.

Just a torso a real human torso, suspended in the air in the same pose as the Christ on his cross.

It took some time to do this… finding the right materials, the place… It took some thinking to hang my art piece in the right place. I won’t really go into details, a magician keep is secret, and so does the artist.

What kind of message I wanted to vehiculate ? This is the kind of questions no artists should answer ! Let it to your audience to build their own opinion. Why does the artist always need to explain his work ? It’s too easy if we revealed the true meaning of our art ! Let the individual to make is own assumption. That’s why art exist : make up your own minds, find the meaning, your personnal one.

Does a piece of art always have to make sense ? Hell no ! It have a meaning for sure, unconsciously, we give it one when we’re creating it. Personally, I let my instincts take the wheel of my creativity. Can’t go wrong if it is from a feeling deep within my soul that my art come to life.

But, like I said before, people are strange. Jim Morrison used to sing about this. He probably knew how strange it was to be an artist, a successful one, and seeing all those peoples, fans, journalists, critics, others artists, criticizing your work and at the same time your life. Wich is stupid !

Let me give you and advice : you have to differentiate the personnal life of an artists from his work. Those are two completely different entities.

And as for the way an artist express himself, one should not judge them to harshly.

Of course I say that in my own defense because I know that I have traumatised peoples by hangin a real human torso in a middle of a busy street.

Lessen, it was an experience, yes a awfull one but I did get reactions !

Next time, I’ll kill the guy in front of your innocents and pathetic eyes !

What I did was art. And it’s a disrespectful to call me a narcissistic and perverted killer !

I have made New-York a trend Again ! I’m the new Andy Warhol !

I am a king maker ! That is the name that I want you all, fucking maggots, to call me : The King Maker !

Sincerely ;

The King Maker.

Jaskiers

They want blood John ! (A short story)

FYI: I am not fluent in English, I’m trying to be at least. Sorry for the potentials mistakes. Feel free to correct me in the comment section.

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« Dear Thomas and all of the Espire’s redaction;

You’re maybe wondering why I did that to the Perish redaction.

Let me explain myself before being judge, rightfully so, by the public.

I was a writer for that paper for two decades.

The begining here was delightfull. I was able to write whatever I wanted to write about. My work was never disputed by the former boss, M. Anthelm.

I wrote story about everything I wanted to. This was also a great time to learn about story telling and the craft of creating shorts fictions for a wide audience.

My relations with the staff was ideal for a writer. They were open, respectful and dedicated to help me and my work evolve. Nothing was out of bundary, no subject was banished, I had the opportunity to broaden my horizon and my audience. And the pay was decent.

Those years passed by fast, as all the years happen to do when you have a lot of work.

M. Anthelm was a mentor, a friend, a confident. Always up to publish new things. As I said, they was no bundaries.

Freedom. That was the magazine was all about. That was what America was all about. That’s the way we all saw it back in those days. Freedom of speech. A real free press.

Old boss, like I loved to call him, had to retire, cancer. Fucking lung cancer. I told him many times : Anthelm, good ol’ boss, stop smoking, that’s not healthy, tobacco isn’t a medecine ! They have been lying to us, it destroy your lungs and all ». But of course, being a old man, and a boss of a successful newspaper/magazine, he told me, very politely, to focus on my work instead of focusing on him. Fair.

The next week of that conversation, I had writed a short story about a man dying of cancer because of the cigarette. He was dying, leaving his family not only with a painfull grieving to do but also with greats difficulties. The man died, and the family was torn apart because they faced problems they could not overcome. The used-to-be stable and perfect family ended up being splitted into clans and it finished with all members facing theirs demons.

A writer have to be a little bit of a prophet sometimes.

M. Anthelm died, we all grieved, we stayed united and strong until the new boss came around.

Here is the start of my demise.

M. Catheren took the place of my good ol’ boss. Right at the begining, things have gone down south with him.

To be honest, I didn’t liked his face, his nonchalant and arrogant attitude. I think he had the same feelings for me.

He hated the first story I gaved to him. And the second, and all the others. I wasn’t able to have a single story publish during three months !

I asked to talk with him, it wasn’t like with the good ol’ boss, I had to pass trought is assistant, who had to communicate to him my desire to have a meeting. It took three days to finaly have hold of him.

I took the opportunity to ask him what was is problem with my stories and what does he really wanted from me and my writing.

He started by telling me that the time had changed, and that, all of us, had to adapt to that new world.

The time didn’t changed since he became the boss, he was so vain that he thought that just by becoming the head of the magazine, everyone working for him had to change, change in his direction. For a boss, this could be seen as normal but he was far, far from being a man, a leader, like M. Anthelm.

That was something, being told that when I worked here for decades. But he finally told me, what he really wanted from my writing :

« They want blood John ! Make some cow-boy, outlaws, gangster, cops stories, those stories that’s spill blood at every words ! The people Johnny, they want to be entertained ! Bring out the guns ! Violence ! That’s what’s sell now ! And you better be good at it ! You have to prove your worth toward me ! This is America Johnny, we work hard, harder than our neighboor, and we work well ! We make sacrifices so we can all succeed in our collective project which is, like I’ve said the day I became the boss, to be the number one magazine in America ! Fuck the others ! Especially Espire ! Esquire is managed by M. Thomas, a prick, a coward, someone that call himself a intellectual ! Ah ! Fuck ‘em Johnny ! I don’t want my magazine to be a den of intelectuals ! I want it to be the fast food of the magazine industry ! You can do that John right ? You’re with me right ? Ah ! You old cunt, you better be if you don’t wanna finish unemployed. A unemployed writer life is a life heading for the gutter ! Johnny, you don’t want to finish like that. Now, write me some bloody stories. No more talk, we need content, and the content that our everchanging audience really want. Out now ! Let’s get to work will ya’! »

Yes, those where is words. This men, coming from nowhere, that nobody in the industry knew, had the nerves to gave me lessons about how our magazine worked.

I had to do something but he said one true thing : I would have ended up in the gutter if I didn’t followed his directions.

This is why a write this letter to you, M. Anthelm. You and your magazine have been our fierce rival. We can never be good without a great rival. And God know you were a great opponent.

Why do I wrote those last lines like it was over ?

This letter will be my testimony, explaining why I did this.

Hopefully, when you’ll receive this letter, my plan would have come to term, successfully.

Yes, I have killed M. Catheren. He wanted me to spill blood, he got served.

I ended my life after my killing. Didn’t wanted to finish in prison for a young arrogant piece of shit.

Publish that letter, or do whatever you want with it. Make some money from that tragedy, scrap it to the last dollar you could produce with it.

Hopefully you will resume your outstanding work. The work of a real litterature’s magazine !

Long live the free writers ! Long live freedom. Long live America !

Yours truly;

Johnny V. Covack.

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Jaskiers